


Call Me Friend

by pinkishdolphin



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, lesbian!Buffy Driscoll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkishdolphin/pseuds/pinkishdolphin
Summary: Buffy comes to terms with her crush





	Call Me Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from when the party's over by Billie Eilish because I couldn't get the line "call me friend but keep me closer" out of my head when I wrote this

The night after she and Marty “break up,” Buffy starts to wonder if something’s wrong with her. She didn’t turn him down because she’s afraid of ruining their friendship, she just genuinely didn’t want to date him. Part of her wonders why.

They like spending time together, they have a lot in common, and even Andi says they would be the perfect couple. But Buffy has never wanted anything other than friendship.

She thinks about Marty and the way he looked when she said she just wanted to be friends. She thinks about Cyrus and the way he lights up when he’s around Jonah, the way he gets uncomfortable when he sees Andi and Jonah together. She thinks about Andi and the way she talks about Jonah, the way she gets nervous around him, the way she spends so much time worrying about how he feels about her. She thinks about all of them and she doesn’t think she’s felt like that about a guy before.

Does that make her weird? Should she feel that way about Marty?

 _No_ , she tells herself after some contemplation. _Crushes and dating are more work than they’re worth. Just being friends is better anyway. I’ve never had problems like that with Andi and Cyrus._

 

* * *

 

When Buffy moves to Phoenix, the feeling that something is different about her returns.  Buffy’s pretty sure the weirdness is the result of leaving her best friends in Shadyside and not having any friends in Phoenix, so she joins the girls basketball team at her school. All the girls on the team are really nice and get along well with her but that feeling stays. Buffy thinks it has to do with Sara, the team captain. Sara seems nothing like TJ – she’s fair during practices and kind to almost everyone – but Buffy still feels the need to prove herself and to impress her.

 _Maybe it’s just because I’m not sure how she’ll act during actual games_ , Buffy reasoned. After the first game goes well, Buffy tells herself that she’s trying so hard to impress Sara because she wants to be friends with her.

_Trying to impress potential friends is normal, right?_

During a team bonding pool party, her gaze lingers a bit too long on Sara as she gets out of the water and her heart flutters a bit. Buffy doesn’t want to think about why her eyes drift in that direction, so she compliments Sara on her swimsuit and goes back to talking with a couple other girls. She struggles to focus on the conversation until Katie mentions something about her girlfriend.

“You have a girlfriend?” Buffy blurts out, and immediately regrets it.

“Yeah. You got a problem with that?” Katie glares at Buffy.

“No, why would I? I just didn’t know.” Katie seems content with that answer and moves on, but Buffy keeps thinking about Katie having a girlfriend and how she’s a girl and she’s dating someone else that’s a girl.

_Why does it matter so much that Katie’s gay? Cyrus is gay and that didn’t bother me._

 

In between going to school, playing basketball, hanging out with her new friends, and ignoring the niggling feeling that maybe she feels different because she likes girls instead of boys, Buffy thinks about the Good Hair Crew. She misses Andi and Cyrus more than anything, but she can’t bring herself to call them back, especially after leaving without saying goodbye. At night, she dreams of being back at the Spoon, Andi by her side and Cyrus on the other side of the booth. They laugh while Cyrus does tater theater and Buffy holds Andi’s hand. Buffy tells herself that she just misses them, and that she’s not thinking of Andi in a different way than she did before.

 

* * *

 

Buffy realizes she can’t keep hiding from that feeling when she gets back to Shadyside. As soon as she gets back, Buffy surprises Andi at her house. They scream and hug and Buffy’s heart starts to race. Buffy notices how that doesn’t happen when she hugs Cyrus later at the Spoon. When she is alone with Andi in her apartment, she feels extra happy and leans onto Andi as she talks about the stuff in the time capsule.

“Some pictures, a Good Hair Crew t shirt, shoelaces from Marty…” Andi pauses there as if waiting for a response.

“Marty,” Buffy sighs. _The person who made me start realizing things about myself_. “I hope he has a girlfriend,” she says aloud. _He deserves someone who can like him back that way._

“He does,” Andi replies.

“He does? It should’ve taken a little longer to get over me,” Buffy jokes.

Andi snickers but then turns to Buffy, looking more serious, and says, “If it’s any consolation, I never would have.” Buffy’s thoughts run wild – _does she mean it the way I think she does?_ – until Andi adds, “Cyrus either.”

 _This is fine,_ Buffy tells herself. _I need to stop feeling hopeful and just support Andi and Jonah._ She texts Jonah to make him come over and when he comes over, she pushes Andi to talk with him because that’s what supportive friends do right? She and Cyrus watch from the window as the two talk. When Jonah accepts the bracelet, part of Buffy feels weird and not happy for them like she should.

“I’m so happy for them, but for real this time,” Cyrus says.

“It’s ok if you’re not!”

 _I’m not!_ Buffy wants to add.

“I am,” Cyrus insists.

“That’s great. If you ever feel like talking about it though…”

“Buffy, my crush on Jonah, it’s gone,” Cyrus says. Buffy doesn’t really know what to think about this. As Cyrus elaborates how his crush used to make his heart beat faster but now that doesn’t happen, Buffy laughs because that’s how she feels now, but with Andi.

 _How the tables turn,_ Buffy thinks.

“It was my first crush, I don’t know how they work,” Cyrus says. He rolls his eyes and almost to himself says, “You couldn’t tell me ‘cause you’ve never had one either.”

“I haven’t?” Buffy says casually, but she tries to downplay it. _If I act like it’s a big deal, everything will get weird and complicated._

“As I live and breathe Buffy Driscoll has a crush!” Cyrus is so excited that his voice starts to get higher.

“It’s brand new,” Buffy says, smiling down at the couch. “It just happened.” _I definitely didn’t feel this way before I left Shadyside_.

Cyrus finally asks who her crush is, and Buffy considers responding, but is definitely relieved when Bex walks in with the snacks. She isn’t really ready to have that conversation yet. 

Later at Cyrus’s house, he starts reading the names of boys in their class from the yearbook, asking if any of them are Buffy’s crush.

“This isn’t fair! I told you my crush and you know how difficult that was,” Cyrus complains.

“This is different,” Buffy says, but still feels a bit guilty. _If I told you, everything would be different._

“How is it different?”

“It just is!” Buffy takes a breath to calm down. She knows she shouldn’t snap at Cyrus. “Anyways it doesn’t matter because nothing is going to happen.”

“It still matters, it’s your first crush!” Cyrus says earnestly. “And we’re crush buddies, we only tell each other, we don’t tell anyone else.”

“Not even Andi,” Buffy says. _Especially not Andi._

“Ooh,” Cyrus says curiously. “I can’t tell Andi? Why can’t I tell Andi?" 

“I’ve said too much already.” _This was a mistake. I’m not ready to tell anyone._

“Because it’s him?” Cyrus turns around the yearbook and points at Jonah’s picture. Buffy wants to laugh at how absurd that would be, the entire Good Hair Crew having a crush on Jonah Beck, but she keeps quiet and shakes her head sadly. Cyrus looks at her carefully for a few moments and then his eyes soften with understanding.

“Oh Buffy,” he says softly, and leans in to hug her.

“Yeah. That’s how it’s different. That’s why you can’t tell Andi.” Buffy gives a watery laugh. “I just don’t want to mess up our friendship.”

_I just don’t want to lose my best friend._


End file.
